What Have I Done????
OK -- today, I started day one of my two-week, no-carb fast-a-thon in an effort to lose 10 pounds before my girlfriend's wedding next month. Good news: I made it through the first day. Bad news: I am inadvertently ruining my daughter's self-esteem. My Hannah Montana, High School Musical-loving 6-year-old is having weight issues. At SIX! Apparently, there's a little girl at her school (as my daughter calls her 'the bully of all fat people') who teases her relentlessly about her toddler tummy --you know that pooch kids get that make them look like they belong on a Sally Struthers infomercial. (By the way, for all you tofu, granola eating moms out there -- her pediatrician assures me that she'll literally grow out of it as long as she remains an active 6-year-old.)
The problem is that now she's convinced that she needs to "lose weight." She walks around sucking in her tummy and proclaiming how much weight she's lost. It was cute at first, but tonight's conversation turned MY tummy. She told me that she wanted to be "skinny so she could be beautiful." And then she said she thought I'd be happy if she lost her tummy. Now mind you, I've never told her that she was anything but beautiful, but apparently I didn't have to ... my own actions said it all. I'm sure she's overheard me on the phone with girlfriends obsessing over having gained 10 pounds or complaining about "having nothing to wear." How could I look her in her face and tell her 'to hell with the school bullies of the world'...how could I tell her that she's beautiful and smart and wonderful and that no matter what she should be happy with who she is on the inside and out. That she should be comfortable --downright cozy--in her own skin. If I'm not?
No, this story does not end with me scarfing down a loaf of bread. There's nothing wrong with healthy eating. But it does force me to examine my motivations. I'm a smart, attractive, wonderful woman -- what gives anyone the right to tell me that I'm not? I've been on this "thing" for a few weeks now because I've been choosing men who are only attracted to a certain sized woman. But that's not my fault. It's not even theirs. It just IS. But that's not all there IS. And I think I just might be ready -- with my daughter's help -- to explore what the rest has to offer.
The problem is that now she's convinced that she needs to "lose weight." She walks around sucking in her tummy and proclaiming how much weight she's lost. It was cute at first, but tonight's conversation turned MY tummy. She told me that she wanted to be "skinny so she could be beautiful." And then she said she thought I'd be happy if she lost her tummy. Now mind you, I've never told her that she was anything but beautiful, but apparently I didn't have to ... my own actions said it all. I'm sure she's overheard me on the phone with girlfriends obsessing over having gained 10 pounds or complaining about "having nothing to wear." How could I look her in her face and tell her 'to hell with the school bullies of the world'...how could I tell her that she's beautiful and smart and wonderful and that no matter what she should be happy with who she is on the inside and out. That she should be comfortable --downright cozy--in her own skin. If I'm not?
No, this story does not end with me scarfing down a loaf of bread. There's nothing wrong with healthy eating. But it does force me to examine my motivations. I'm a smart, attractive, wonderful woman -- what gives anyone the right to tell me that I'm not? I've been on this "thing" for a few weeks now because I've been choosing men who are only attracted to a certain sized woman. But that's not my fault. It's not even theirs. It just IS. But that's not all there IS. And I think I just might be ready -- with my daughter's help -- to explore what the rest has to offer.
posted by Teree @ 7:57 PM
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